10/01/2011

28 Weeks Equal To 7 Month

Alhamdulilah ..
its been 28 weeks now ..oh my 7 months...another 2 months to go.macam macam rasa.its true that at this point according to my reading that the mother is already tak sabar bila la baby nak keluar even the fact is we know that its going to be another few months.

im gonna be honest here .
oh my the emotional breakdown that im having.im so scared that it will effected my baby.semua orang duk cakap u have to be patient, don't be all time angry, don't be mad at people, don't stress over things. things that i cant control.well im not expecting people to u know really understand that im pregnant as im not the only one pregnant..and i also know that i cant be explaining to each and everyone how the heck that i feel right now.

im not happy at home.im not sure why.its stressing me up.im usually happy at the office but now im not happy..because the way things is and how bad one person can be and how stress can that person make u be.i try to talk bout it with Que and friends but still i feel that they can only listen nothing can be done.at times i feel like i want to run away for all the things that happen now.just go somewhere where i can be alone...where i dont have to stress on things..where i dont have to tell people why am i being like this.ya Allah please help me.

i cry everyday.it gives me headache.i cant sleep.i cant eat.i cant do things.the only thing that i do at home is sleep and watching tv.i only get up to eat or toilet break.especially when Que not around as our off day is different.bila dia off aku kerja like today..bila aku off dia keje...so im officially alone and think too much.

i notice that im pressuring him a lot.a blame him for lotsa things especially when he  basically cant do anything to help me.u know the time when u tell all your problem but then in the end the only answer that come out from the person is "alah sabar jela nak buat macam mana " or " i also don't know what to do "..it is always frustrating to hear that kind of answer but deep in my heart i know i cant ask for more .

i have so many problems right now..from family ..money issue ...work issue ...health issue ...all in one making me stress.but i just cant avoid i dont have the streght.i know that he is not that strong so i have to be strong for him.i really apologize to my husband for making him suffer.seriously i know that i make u sakit hati with my attitude ..im sorry and thanks for being there.

dear sayang,
i hope one day when u learn to read and somehow u end up reading mummy's blog i hope u grow up being a good person..bijak..sempurna kat mata mummy dengan daddy.we hope that by the time u reading this u living a good life...a good life that mummy and daddy give to u..i hope u dont have to share my problems like how u share it with me now in mummy's tummy.i love u dearly.

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